Today I share two uniquely American stories. The juxtaposition says a lot about us as a country. You could say our national mirror has two faces. Both reflections are accurate. Both speak to our celebrated indomitable spirit. One is tragic. Both are uplifting. In the aftermath of the hurricanes, many people will relate to these stories. I want to thank my friend and coach Randy Siegel for allowing me to reprint his "Manifesto for Life" in this entry today. I think it is a fitting tribute to the memory of my friend Cathy who died this week and who embodied the values and attributes in Siegel's "Manifesto". First, a few paragraphs about Cathy...
Catherine Tygart Vecchio was a young woman, only 46, who could not overcome complications from hypertension and other chronic diseases. Ultimately pancreatitis took her away from this world. Cathy embodied the indomitable spirit of America. I met her only two years ago. She and her husband Joe were a striking pair; very bright, educated, intelligent, and industrious. Joe served in the military. Cathy and Joe married just five years ago. Cathy had two adorable children. She encouraged their quest for learning and their creative instincts. The family laughed heartily together every day.
The very first day I met Joe, after he impressed our group of grassroots activists with some unique political and social insights, he shared some shocking news: Joe was unemployed. His unemployment benefits were running out in a few days, and he and his family were facing eviction and homelessness. Needless to say, we were dumbstruck. How could such bright, capable, non-drug addicted people be in this condition? In America?
The tragic fact is that during the last two years of Cathy's life, she and Joe lived in a different America than you and I. They did fall into homelessness and suffered the humiliation of trying to wade through the red tape of our dysfunctional social services. She lost her children to an ex-husband in another state because she had to ensure their security while she and Joe worked through their troubles. They were just starting to regain a foothold into the America where you and I live when she was struck down by illness. Of course, they were uninsured, a fact that not only limited the quality of care she could receive, (and quite possibly led to her untimely death because her illness could not be properly managed), but also threw the couple back into unemployment and near homelessness.
Although Cathy died in a condition that most of us cannot imagine, she was able to smile and laugh and persevere. She was down but never defeated.
A Manifesto for Living, By Randy Siegel www.powerhousecommunications.com
(Randy composed this reflection as a tribute to his brother Chip who died on July 21, 2004. It was originally published by the Asheville Citizen Times.)
Death is only a whisper away, and still it calls out to us to live life fully. Later this month, I turn 49, and no longer will I take my life for granted. When my time comes, I will have few regrets. The time to live my life is now.
Seven years ago, I signed a living will, but what is my will for living? How do I want to live my life?
With you as my witnesses, I want to declare my “Manifesto for Living.” It contains only four elements.
One: Live for Love. Nothing is more important than love. Love is the juice of life; it is what gives us energy. I will put the relationships in my life first – above career, above my art, above all else. I will seek to see the divinity in everyone I meet. In their eyes I will find God and love.
Two: Let Go and Let God. In Al-Anon, they have a saying (borrowed from Alcoholics Anonymous), “Let go and let God.” Even though I know the wisdom of these words, I still struggle with making them come alive in my life. My head tells me: “Surrender is for sissies.” My ego repeats, “To survive in the world takes nothing short of sheer force of will.” But my heart tells me something different. It tells me there is a Higher Power, and if I learn to trust it, it will guide me.
I am learning I cannot control life. Many situations are out of my control. Instead of becoming vested in specific outcomes I can only trust that what will be, will be.
The Serenity Prayer offers this guidance: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.” I repeat it often.
Three: Live in Gratitude. A banner hangs in my church that quotes spiritual leader Meister Eckhart: “If the only prayer you say in your whole life is ‘thank you’ that would suffice.” Several months ago, I began the practice of beginning each day listing three things (or people) for which (or whom) I am grateful. When I remember to do it, I seem to have a brighter day.
According to the law of attraction, we attract that on which we focus. When my thoughts dwell on what I don’t have in my life, I attract unsettling feelings of need. The tapes in my head start to whine, “You are not enough. There is not enough.” But when I shift my focus from what I don’t have to what I do, I come from a place of abundance. The tapes stop, and beautiful music fills my ears.
I am learning to seek gratitude in every situation, even those that I once considered “bad.” Dr. Wayne Dyer, in his book The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way, writes, “To connectors, everything that shows up in their life is there because the power of intention intended it there. So they’re always in a state of gratitude. They feel thankful for everything, even things that seem to be obstacles… Through their thanks, they honor all possibilities…”
Four: Follow My Energy. Yesterday, my analyst posed the question: “What would your life be like if you were to simply follow your energy?” In his question, I found a compass for my calling.
Whether called energy, enthusiasm, passion or love makes little difference: it’s all the same to me. When I follow it, I am in the flow. The right situations, people, and resources come forward. I am following what Joseph Campbell called “my bliss.”
When I swim upstream, I make little progress, and I expend unneeded energy. But when I go with the flow I follow my soul’s calling. I live my life on purpose and with purpose.
This is my manifesto for living. I share it with you, my neighbors, because I want you to hold me accountable to it. Through it, I will live a rich and abundant life.
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